*All names have been changed to protect the safety and privacy of each resident.
Angelica’s Story
Originally from Czechoslovakia, Angelica lived with her husband in the United States for several years, until she went through a bitter divorce and had to return to her homeland to tend her mother who was ill. She was left with a small settlement from her divorce, which enabled her to return to the states in order to try to get reestablished in a new job and make a new home for herself. But at 50 years of age, beginning life all over again was much harder than she could ever have anticipated.
The settlement was exhausted very quickly, leaving Angelica with no money, no friends, no family and no resources. After a short stay at a shelter in Long Beach, Angelica was waiting at a bus stop when a stranger in a Cadillac pulled over and offered to take her to the Salvation Army in Santa Ana. Fortunately, there was a man working there who was acquainted with WISEPlace, and referred her to our facility. She arrived with nothing but the clothes on her back. Because of her prior experience in retail sales at Department Stores, she was able to secure a temporary position not to long after arriving at WISEPlace in December of 1999 at Robinson’s May, but was let go after the Christmas season.
A stranger in a foreign land, with no financial means of support, and no circle of friends, Angelica soon found a new family at WISEPlace. Equipped with some counseling, new clothes, nutritious meals and a warm, nurturing atmosphere, Angelica received the support she needed to begin again. Rediscovering her sense of self, she gained the confidence to interview at several of the higher end retail stores around Orange County. She found a position at Saks and despite a climate of intense competition among the sales staff, she managed to carve a niche for herself, and has become very successful.
After living at WISEPlace for about a year, Angelica is ready to purchase her own car, and move into her own place. She has regained self-esteem and even dreams of one day entering into a joint venture to have her own specialty shop. She is setting new goals for herself and facing the future with courage.
WISEPlace is in the business of saving lives, one woman at a time. There are many other inspiring stories like Angelica’s. Each woman arrives with a different set of issues and circumstances, but the need for temporary assistance and a supportive staff is common to them all. We invite those of you who are reading Angelica’s story to consider how you might be part of this dynamic and productive team as a donor or volunteer. Every life counts. Make yours count!
Regina’s Story: In Her Own Words
On Friday, May 17th, 2002, members of WISEPlace staff had the privilege of attending Regina’s graduation from Drug Court. We listened to Regina tell her story, and then exchanged hugs with her, the judge, the Public Defender, and Regina’s Probation Officer. Hearing her describe her journey into the worst kind of drug abuse after a childhood of horror, and seeing her standing tall and proud and self-confident reduced all of us to tears. Listen to her tell you in her own words how she fought back and overcame her past to live as a productive, caring member of the community.
My name is *Regina and I am 41 years old. I am a miracle.
My story begins in 1961 in Tulsa, Oklahoma where I was born. All I remember of my father was that he was an alcoholic who beat up my mother a lot. One day when I was 5 years old, my mother didn’t come home. My older sister, who was 11, took care of me and my 3 year old sister and 18-month-old baby brother. After a week, a neighbor reported us and we were collected by Social Services and adopted by a family in Kansas City, Missouri.
I don’t know why I was singled out, but of the 4 of us, my adoptive father picked me to be the object of his verbal, physical and sexual abuse. This went on until I turned 14 and ran away with a girlfriend to Kansas to be with my friend’s sister. I met a guy in the service who seemed to care for me, and I was soon pregnant with his baby. One month before I was due to deliver, I left him when I learned he was already married. I returned to my adoptive family in Kansas City where I gave birth to a son. After just a few months, my adoptive father began bothering me again, so I had to leave. I was now 17 years old. I returned to my girlfriend in Kansas and, wanting my son to have a mother and father, I put him up for adoption. A doctor and his wife adopted him, and I never saw him again.
I left Kansas with another friend headed for California. But along the way, I was stranded in Mexico, and ended up staying there for 6 years with a man who turned out to be another bad relationship. I had a second son with him. I got a job across the border in San Ysidro working at a fast food restaurant and saved up enough money after 3 years to escape with my son to California. The day I was set to leave, I went to pick up my son at the babysitter’s and found to my horror that he, my husband, and his entire family had vanished. Shattered, and alone, I returned to California, never to see my baby again.
I arrived in Los Angeles with no friends, very little money, and no job. I stayed on the streets for a while, until I met someone who was nice to me. I lived with him and he supported me, but he had children with another woman and it became very complicated. I left him when I was 1 ½ months pregnant to live with a girl who turned out to be another bad choice. I barely survived for 3 months, but I kept my daughter with me and stayed clean. A neighbor tried to help me make ends meet by setting me up selling drugs. Out of desperation, I agreed.
One day, I received a summons to Court, but having already lost 2 children, I was determined to keep this one at all costs, so I moved across town to a Latino community where I quit selling drugs and began selling my body. I did this for almost 5 months. It was very stressful and scary and lonely, and I hated being away from my daughter.
Thinking enough time had gone by and I would be safe, I moved back to my old place where I thought I could stop soliciting and go back to selling drugs. I was only back one week when I returned to my hotel in time to see the police pulling away with my daughter inside the police car. She was just a year old. I had no contact with my daughter ever again.
I completely freaked out; I had a nervous breakdown and starting drinking heavily, something I had not done before. The next morning, I awoke in Santa Ana in a strange neighborhood. I had no idea where I was. The men who had brought me there pretended to take me home and instead dropped me off a few blocks away, leaving me completely stranded far from home with nothing but the clothes I was wearing.
I sat down on a low wall nearby and all the feelings of shame and fear and guilt and sadness and abandonment came bubbling up until I began to weep. A man watching me nearby offered to help me and gave me my first heroin and cocaine. I moved in with him, used drugs and solicited for the next 3 ½ years. I was now 26 years old. I felt like 80. This man died and over the next 14 years, I quit slamming drugs and started smoking cocaine, living in Santa Ana in various neighborhoods, in and out of jail and prison several times.
On December 16, 2000, I decided I couldn’t live like this anymore. I didn’t want to go on. I had lost 3 children and nearly destroyed myself by one relationship after another of physical, chemical and emotional abuse. I had no self-esteem and didn’t care whether I lived or died. Living behind the abandoned building which had become my home, I begged God, “Take me now.” Instead, He sent a police officer to arrest me. A guardian angel in disguise, Officer Sweet was the kindest, most caring man I had ever met. At court, I was offered a drug treatment program in lieu of jail time, and I accepted gratefully. I made a promise to God to never use drugs again.
I went to The Villa for 90 days and then was referred by my House Director to WISEPlace for their transitional program Steps to Independence. It was April 19, 2001 when I was finally able to declare my independence: from my abuse-filled past, from my self-loathing, from dependence on all the wrong people and things…At WISEPlace, I found love and support, good therapy to resolve my deepest issues, and had wonderful opportunities to do things I never dreamed of before.
There were good educational programs; I received computer training. I made some good friends. I discovered I had an artistic talent and began to dream of one day illustrating children’s books. A volunteer got me in touch with 2 companies who publish children’s literature.
It was at WISEPlace in 2001 that I had the best Christmas of my life. I got everything I had put on my list, including a set of professional markers! I loved hearing Jim Bowman, the Executive Director’s husband, tell stories at our Christmas morning brunch, and listening to a volunteer who came and played the flute. It was so overwhelming, it made me forget where I had spent the last 40 years of my life.
The staff has been very supportive and arranged for medical care for my health problems, which had become pretty serious. On March 23, 2002 I graduated from the Steps to Independence program at WISEPlace. Eleven months and a lifetime after declaring independence on April 19th, 2001! I am now living nearby where I can stay in touch with my WISEPlace family. I am working two jobs, which I love, and have just recently received another job offer, which means additional income. I am reading a book called Reinventing Your Life, and it is helping me to continue working on healing my heart and soul from the wounds of the past so I can be successful.
I learned two things: through God, all things are possible, and everything is in God’s timing.
Regina’s story sounds like the plot for a Hollywood movie, but it’s not. The story is true, and it is told in her own words, unabridged and unedited. As hard as it is to read her story, it was harder to live it. No young girl should have to tolerate the kind of treatment she endured from her adopted father; no mother should have to endure the pain and desolation of losing her children. And no wife should have to suffer the physical and emotional torment of her husband. While it is true that Regina made many poor choices and brought on herself many of the unfortunate consequences of those choices, she started life with several strikes against her, and never had positive role models or received the kind of unconditional love that gives most people the moral compass they need for a successful lifestyle.
There is a unique story and a face and a broken heart for every woman who comes to WISEPlace. These are lives shattered by things most of us never have to experience. But, as Regina said, there is always hope. She is a living example for all to see that it’s never too late to begin again.
Jordana’s Story: Free Indeed
Hello, I am *Jordana Spencer, a soldier in the Salvation Army. It was just four years ago that I myself was standing in great need. I had just left a domestic violence shelter, had a restraining order against my husband, and had no place to live. I went to the YWCA Hotel for Women, now called WISEPlace.
I arrived at the Hotel with a history of approximately 25 years of mental and physical abuse at the hands of the five men who had been my mates over those years. There were intervals during that time which took me to Germany, England, the Middle East, and America, that can only be described as a nightmare. I had one child, a daughter from my first marriage, who experienced with me the pain of one failed and destructive relationship after another. There was even one period when I joined my husband in cocaine use (that husband later committed suicide after I left him) and another period when my daughter was abused by my mate. I was a homemaker during the entire time, so I did not have advanced education or work experience upon which I could draw.
WISEPlace provided me with a wonderful period of peace. For a woman who did not have young children (my daughter is now in her mid-twenties and living in another state) the domestic violence shelter was vital, but did not completely meet my needs. It was geared to abused women with children. I needed time to get myself settled without the distraction of other people’s children. My three months at WISEPlace provided that quiet respite. There, I was able to recognize that what I really needed to do was acknowledge that I could not control my life; that I needed to put my life in God’s hands.
I now recognize that my past does not define my future. Now I am a full-time secretary, I rent my own apartment, and have become fully independent. I am on the Dean’s List, and have become an intake counselor with the Salvation Army. I am looking forward to completing my studies in drug and alcohol counseling so that I can more directly help others as I have been helped. When I came to WISEPlace, I was abused, homeless, and helpless. You gave me my life back. Thank you so much.
Geraldyne’s Story
Geraldyne was born in Calcutta, India in 1949 to a British father and Canadian mother. She traveled the world with her parents as her father’s work took them to exotic places: she spent eleven years in Beaurepaire, Quebec, 2 years in Hong Kong, and 1 year in the Philippines. She graduated from high school in 1968 in Kobe, Japan. After graduation, she came to the states where she attended college in the Bay area for one year and then moved to southern California where she has resided ever since.
Geraldyne’s list of accomplishments are impressive: she graduated from the Cordon Bleu cooking institute in Montreal, had a poem published in “World of Poetry” in 1989, won the “Golden Poet Award” in the same year, had a work published in the “Jasmine Creek Collection,” and won a photography award while still in her teens.
Yet life was full of unkind reversals for Geraldyne as she suffered the loss of both her parents in her early twenties, and her trust in both friends and dating relationships was met with one bitter disappointment after another.
By the time she was 35, the inheritance she had received after the death of her parents had dwindled to nothing due to some bad financial decisions and unwise relationships, and at the age of 50 she faced homelessness, an inconceivable prospect for a young woman raised with affluence and private schools.
Geraldyne became a resident at WISEPlace in January 2001. It was the only agency on her referral list, which accepted women without children. She became a security guard, working full-time at a large corporation – a far cry from her earliest hopes and dreams. In her own words, “WISEPlace has been a very therapeutic place for getting myself back together, and in dealing with past issues. It’s has been very supportive as a transitional living situation until I can be independent.”
WISEPlace has been a renewed source of inspiration for Geraldyne as well; she has bought her first guitar and taught herself to play. She has written an original song, which she is in the process of getting produced as a tribute to the heroes and the victims of 9/11. She is writing again: poems, stories, and scripts. And she has been able to retrieve her expensive camera from the Pawn Shop and begin taking photographs again. Geraldyne says the support from the staff has been incredible, and the residents of WISEPlace “have become new family, new friends.”
Geraldyne’s immediate goal is to find an affordable place to live, and to upgrade her job, salary and benefits. Her long-term goals are to have her own home, finish school, and establish a career in production and script writing for training and corporate films. She expects to graduate from the “Steps to Independence” program within the next month.
Following is a poem Geraldyne wrote as a tribute to the many new friends she has at WISEPlace:
FRIENDSHIP When Fate tossed me broken, disbelieving, |